I am SURE this is hard to believe, but I am really hard on myself. Like, harder than I should be. Like, tell myself things that I wouldn’t even utter to my worst enemy.
Like:
You aren’t good enough
You aren’t smart enough.
You aren’t pretty enough.
You are damaged goods, no one will love you.
So many people have already given up on you, don’t you think God has too?
And it’s not just every once in a while. I find that it’s constant white noise in the background. This incessant dogging of myself isn’t triggered by something specific! It’s just THERE. Whispering things to myself that I wouldn’t ever say to an enemy, because they are the types of things that you can’t get back. You don’t forget someone calling you fat, no matter how SKINNY you get. It’s always there, especially when you don’t eat perfect or your pants feel tight one day. And the older I get, the WORSE it gets. Especially when you start to focus on any and all failures in your life.
BUT.
THIS YEAR.
It Stops. For good. Not just for today, not for a month. But for the entire year. I promise myself that I will not be negative. And despite the fact I don’t always believe in it. I will be nice to myself. Polite. Respectful, even!
Goal 3 – Turn All Negative Phrases into Positive
Lord knows I am going to fail more times than I succeed in this practice. Positive ANYTHING has got to be better than Negative Nothing, right? So as most things in life, this is just about a habit. I don’t believe in what I am saying yet. But for example,
A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results. – Wade BoggsI REALLY want this year to be a positive year. I want to achieve some very big things, and in order to do that, my attitude has to start that journey. So I have been telling myself the following things daily:
- You CAN do this.
- You work hard every day – you look great!
- Chemistry isn’t that hard and you ARE smart enough to do this.
- Your backside is not too big – its just the way God made it.
These are just the top 4 things I hear myself say over and over. And let’s be honest – I totally do not believe it. Yet. But positive attitude fosters more positive attitudes. So, where this isn’t a life-changing goal, it might just change my life.