you is kind

Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you’re going to live your life. – Joel Olsteen
 
Success or failure depends more upon attitude than upon capacity.  Successful men act as though they have accomplished or are enjoying something and soon it becomes a reality. Act, look, feel successful, conduct yourself accordingly, and you will be amazed at the positive results. – William Jam

I am SURE this is hard to believe, but I am really hard on myself.  Like, harder than I should be.  Like, tell myself things that I wouldn’t even utter to my worst enemy.

Like:

You aren’t good enough

You aren’t smart enough.

You aren’t pretty enough.

You are damaged goods, no one will love you.

So many people have already given up on you, don’t you think God has too?

And it’s not just every once in a while.  I find that it’s constant white noise in the background.  This incessant dogging of myself isn’t triggered by something specific!  It’s just THERE.  Whispering things to myself that I wouldn’t ever say to an enemy, because they are the types of things that you can’t get back.  You don’t forget someone calling you fat, no matter how SKINNY you get.  It’s always there, especially when you don’t eat perfect or your pants feel tight one day.  And the older I get, the WORSE it gets.  Especially when you start to focus on any and all failures in your life.

BUT.

THIS YEAR.

It Stops. For good.  Not just for today, not for a month.  But for the entire year.  I promise myself that I will not be negative.  And despite the fact I don’t always believe in it.  I will be nice to myself.  Polite.  Respectful, even!

Goal 3 – Turn All Negative Phrases into Positive

Lord knows I am going to fail more times than I succeed in this practice.  Positive ANYTHING has got to be better than Negative Nothing, right?  So as most things in life, this is just about a habit.  I don’t believe in what I am saying yet.  But for example,

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results. – Wade Boggs

I REALLY want this year to be a positive year.  I want to achieve some very big things, and in order to do that, my attitude has to start that journey.  So I have been telling myself the following things daily:

  • You CAN do this.
  • You work hard every day – you look great!
  • Chemistry isn’t that hard and you ARE smart enough to do this.
  • Your backside is not too big – its just the way God made it.

These are just the top 4 things I hear myself say over and over.  And let’s be honest – I totally do not believe it.  Yet. But positive attitude fosters more positive attitudes.  So, where this isn’t a life-changing goal, it might just change my life.

 

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27.40

I am a numbers girl.  You may not know that about me, but it’s one of my FAVORITE characteristics that I inherited from my Mimi.  She was SO smart with numbers – able to add like 15 up at a time with no pen and paper.  She was a wiz when it came to financials and she read the stocks page every day (still to this day, I have NO idea how she does that!  Sorry, did that.)  But no matter how good she was, I am thankful that I got a little piece of that part of her brain.

I was texting with a friend a few days about about a VERY familiar subject of mine – being broke.  I said, “If I JUST had $10,000 I feel like my life would change.  Not $100,000, not $1M.  Just $10,000.”

That’s it.

That’s my dollar amount that if I JUST had $10,000, my life would be able to change course.  I could pay off my car, I could end my credit card debt (which isn’t much…but still there!), I could stop teaching ALL the time for money and choose to teach which classes I want.  And most of all, I would feel comfortable.  I would have savings, and options.  And in saying that, the fervent prayer and mantra for the past few months came FLYING into my head “What are my goals for 2013”.  Really God – this is going to be one of those ones that is hard to swallow right?  And here it is.

Goal 2 in 2013 – Save $10,000 in the bank account (completed by Dec 31, 2013)

So.  That’s a big goal.  That is a big lofty goal that I am going to have to sacrifice to make happen.  And yet, I continue to make life changes towards this goal without specific plans (renting my house out, downgrading certain “necessities”, etc.).  This is a goal that is going to stretch me mentally.  But let’s be honest.  I have a home.  I have plenty of clothes and Lululemon and tennis shoes and heels and Tervis Tumblers.  I have a car that is in great shape as long as I maintain it.  I have all the earrings and bracelets and makeup that I could really need.  And deodorant  I mean, I am STOCKED UP on deo.

Obviously I am not writing this down so you can borrow money from me.  Or know my finances.  But know THIS.  This is going to mean no big bar bills or eating out every weekend (I budgeted for like 4x a month).  This means I will have to say no to somethings due to money.  This is going to be a complete lifestyle change from the way I have been living for 5+ years.  I unsubscribed from EVERY shopping email I get.  I cancelled BirchBox and my fitness “monthly” expense.  I have resolved that I will not order supplements for performance other than food.  I will have to be content with the clothing that I have (umm.  plenty) and how I look in it.  And I am SO going to be ok.

But guess what kids – this chick is like freaky AWESOME at finding deals.  I have 5 “free” movie tickets to the Edge.  I have a $15 GC to Max’s and a $50 to my favorite Mexican restaurant for starters.  My birthday is coming up March 4th, and instead of asking for something that i just WANT, I will be asking for what I need at that point (probably money for books for the summer semester!  or tires.  Ugg.  always tires.)

So.  Here are CLEAR ways to achieve this goal.

1) Cash basis.  I budgeted out bi-weekly for gas and groceries with a tiny entertainment budget.  Anything I don’t use from one week will roll into the other, but if I don’t have the cash, I won’t CANT DON’T spend it.  The end.

2) NO shopping until the first quarter is over, which is March 26th.  At this time, I will re-evaluate if I have a) hit $2,500 and b) how the rest of my finances will look.  This is mostly about habits.  I generally wear the same thing for weeks on end (outside of work) and no one really cares are work.  Also, I have two additional closets of my sister and dear friend if something really does come up that I don’t have the correct clothing for.

3) Direct Deposit into a savings account that is not readily available or easy to access.  See, things these days are SUPER easy.  I opened up an account at another financial institution and then each pay period, it will just directly deposit it into the savings account.  I opted for NO WEB ACCESS so I just can’t see it.  I’m just going to pretend I got a huge pay cut.  Seems feasible, right?

4) Couponing/deals for the grocery.  Buying what is on sale, not letting it go bad and really paying attention to the grocery budget on a bi-weekly basis.

5) Selling my car.  This is a 50/50 shot.  It has been listed on AutoTrader for 5 months, I have shown it to 6 different families and it has not sold.  I feel I need to stay firm on the price so that I am able to purchase something STURDY with cash.  This is more of a praying for God to move on this type of thing.  And like my friend always says, you only need ONE person to buy it.  And I do believe that someone will.  In selling my car, this will give me a little wiggle room for paying off things while still achieving my goal.

It’s just $27.40 a day.  How about that.  

What is your big 2013 goal?

make it yours.

Over the next couple of weeks, I will be sharing goals with you and will WELCOME comments and encouragement!  I am attending a Goal Workshop tomorrow night, and I hope that it will spur me on to really thinking about what I fully want.  Not what my parents think I should have, not what my friends are doing, not what my peers judge me into doing.  What Ruth Wants To Do.

Over the last few months, I really have been rolling that around in my head – what is it that I really want to DO with my life.  In my early 20’s, it was to get married and show people that I didn’t have to have a degree to get anywhere.  I was SO adamant about that point.  SO!  And I still think it is crazy for something jobs to discount experience for time spent in college.  After all, I technically spent 4 years and PLENTY of credit hours.  But in this world, I can’t force people to think the way I do.  So, I am caving and getting a degree….10 years after the first time I started.  10.  Full.  Years.

GOAL 1 in 2013 (to be completed by December, 2013)

Graduate college at UAB with a Marketing Degree.

That means I have to take eight classes in 2013.

That means this spring, I am taking three classes.

That means this summer, I need to take two or three classes (depending on what is available)

And that means hopefully just two in the Fall of 2013.

And while that sounds like a lot to most people, to me, I just have to stay focused.  I’m Broke As A Joke, so travelling doesn’t hasn’t been an option.  And I have spent the last 10 years being (relatively) footloose and fancy-free.  I’ve had worse.  So what is one really tough, busy, mentally hard year.  I will tell you what – it seems like NOTHING compared to the emotionally hard years of 2008-2010.  Mental strength, I can find.

 

This goal is a perfect example of falling down 7 times.  I really haven’t EVER been public about this – if you point-blank ask me, I would tell you.  But I certainly don’t even like to tell people this piece of information.  It automatically prompts two responses: I thought you had one or Why didn’t  you finish?  The first statement making me feel inadequate about lack of education albeit PLENTY of hardcore experience.  The second question is just never fun to answer…but it usually goes like this:  I was supposed to graduate a semester early as I came into college with 14 credit hours (a full semester) based on my High School education.  I wanted to take off a semester and work or do SOMETHING other than school because I was freaking out about being 21 and having to get a full time job.  At the time, I was fully advised (told straight-up) just to finish school and get it over with.  And in one of my better bits of rebellion, just decided to fail school instead.  Go ahead.  Just read that again.  To be honest, I don’t really know if it was a conscious decision or one I just let happen, but  I received a 68 in a class that I had to have a 70 to graduate.  The best part?  If I had just attended class, if I had JUST SHOWED UP to class, I would have graduated.  My sorry a$$ decided that I didn’t want to.  So I tried talking to three teachers and no one would help me (I don’t know that I would have either).  It is one of a HANDFUL of regrets that I have.  Not one that I focus and morn every day, but one single event that if I could go back and change I would.  But let’s be honest….would I go back to being 21?  Uhhh, NO.  I can’t think of a worser time to go back to!  I happen to like 30, and graduating college NOW is going to mean something that graduating then NEVER would have.

So.  Here on my 8th time getting up, let’s graduate college, shall we?

reading

sometimes i read.  Like. Ah-Lot.  And then there are other times when I read nothing at all and the thought of a word coming across my eyes is tiresome.  Like all things for Ruth, its all or nothing (is there a pill for that?!)

What I am reading NOW:

Why Be Useful?  Athleticism & Sex Appeal  – Best line? ” I’d venture to guess that most women could care less about how much you bench or squat. They’re not interested in your ego-repleting power lifts.  However, a display of athleticism like walking around on your hands or a back-flip really seems to get the hormones flowing.  Or so I’ve been told.  Just food for thought for those looking to impress the fairer sex.” –  True Alex.  So dang TRUE.

The Oil Cleansing Method – I started last week with Caster Oil and Grapeseed oil (purchased off of Amazon, of COURSE).  And so far, I LOVE it.  It gets all my mascara off and I swear I am prettier already!

No ‘Poo! – yeah, Yall know I hardly like to shower or wash my hair.  And now I am contemplating moving to baking soda.  I care DEEPLY about what I eat….and your skin covers your ENTIRE BODY!  Why shouldn’t I care what goes on it!  I haven’t made the jump yet.  Trying to keep it to ONE major change a month.  (right?!)

5 “FUN” things that are NOT that fun – I really DON’T mind going someplace where I don’t know people, but the other four – Spot. On.

Hater’s guide to William Sonoma – Notes from Drew: Where else am I supposed to put my dirty cheese?

and on the other end of the spectrum…

At Last – get out a tissue, please.

The difference between asking how I can pray for you and praying for you – Funny thing is I ran across this article on Monday – no more than 30 minutes after I had texted my roommate how I could pray for her this week.  This kinda has been sitting on my heart all week.  Much like the SAME roommate who asked me about my {bad} attitude this week, and could it possibly be related to time spent in the Word. (I did tell her to ignore my snide and off-handed response.  She said it didn’t bother her.)

The Christmas Party that Almost Wasn’t – and then best words, “Let’s make ourselves available and then watch how this whole wonderful thing unfolds, OK?”  Ok.

 

Just thoughts from an extremely all OVER the place chick.

fashionista

Not really – But I do see people in workout clothes ALL day long, so it’s always nice when I get to wear actually CLOTHES!

Shirt:  Yellow Open Back shirt from Shoe Fly

Jeans:  Jessica Simpson Jeggings for $41 (at Belk)

Shoes: Jessica Simpson Josephine

Scarf: Urban Outfitters Staring at Stars Cocoon Eternity Scarf

Necklace: Stella and Dot Bahari Necklace

Makeup: Bobbi Brown Long Wear Cream Shaddow in Sandy Gold and Velvet Plum, Bobbi Brown Long Wear Gel Eyeliner in Black Ink, Benefit’s They’re Real! Mascara, Urban Decay Naked Skin Weightless Ultra Definition Liquid Makeup , Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick in Nectar, Covergirl Lip Perfection in Spellbound

Scent: As always, Philosophy Body Firming Emulsion in Amazing Grace, and Chanel Chance

 

the world as it is now

No, I WILL NOT talk about CFA except for to say that I am SO irritated by the “stand” most Christians have made. I am NOT going to be that ugly especially when I think that I don’t think that’s what was intended by CFA’s stance.  But they have made some big time dollars!  I believe that Jesus came to save all sinners.  And that all this ugly yelling to people is just that.  UGLY.

 

I am starting a new series today.  Called, Internet Dating.  I cannot talk about anything other than yes, I am on match.com, and the CRAZINESS of people on here.  One Word.  CREEEEEEEPERS.  So, now I am enjoying my membership for what it is – CRAY CRAY entertainment in the biggest sense.  And Lawdy-Be – what is better than me sharing my experiences with you!

 

So there is a feature on match.com called “winking”.  Basically its a way to let the other party know you are “interested” without putting any effort into it.  It annoys the CRAP out of me if people just “wink” and then don’t say a word.  It’s exactly like being whistled at on the street.  I’ve never understood why people don’t just use their WORDS.

 

So today’s email comes from “John Doe1”

He emailed you.

Yesterday at 3:48 PM
I’m like being direct to the point: I’m a complete package, so I’ve been told … looks, intelligence, personality, financially stable, fun and most importantly I know how to treat a woman!
And I REALLY wish I could show you a picture of this D-bag, but I just cannot.  Let’s just say he is 54, looks like a greasy Italian and is wearing a Gold Chain in his picture.  With his pot belly hanging out.
Something kinda like this…

Really JD1 – Complete Package?!  I cannot WAIT to meet you and know that you will pay all my bills.  Actually, do you think you could just write me a check and send it to my Post Office Box?  That would be great.  No, don’t worry about filling in the “Pay to the order of” Portion.  I will just fill that in myself…..

the book and THE BOOK

The Facebook, that is.  TOTAL love and hate for the social medium.  I mean, how many other websites can make as MANY changes as they have in the past 10 years, their users continue to HATE it, and yet, they still make millions, and are continuing to grow.  It is almost disgusting, right??

I swear I get off it, then get back on, then get off it again and hate it and then love it!  I ADORE it for my work at the gym – for reminding people of upcoming events, for asking friends on referrals of cleaning ladies and recipes and the newest movie out.  But I hate how obsessive I get over it!  And the FEELINGS hurt.  I swear.   I know I am not the only woman, because I have talked to other about it.  No, it’s not like I have to be invited to everything.  But it is ummmmm….I don’t think hurtful is the right word.  Unnerving? Bothersome? Catty??  When people check in and didn’t invite you.  And TRUST ME I am the queen of having parties and dinners and such things, so I GET intimate gatherings.  My thing is, why tag someone in it.  I KNOW I am guilty of it, and I hope I have never been so careless to hurt someone’s feelings, but do you see how I just spent 5 minutes writing about the emotions that a CHECK-IN on FACEBOOK CREATES??  yeah, so.  I am off it for now.

HOW I KNOW FACEBOOK HAS TAKEN OVER THE WORLD, or the annoyance of deactivating my account:
  • I no longer can sign into Spotify (You are REQUIRED to have the book)
  • I continue to miss events that are posted….sales, specials, lunches….ok ok ok.  So maybe being off of Facebook will help me save money!
  • My “discount” sites are COMPLETELY linked to the book.  So I had to email customer service to have it “unlinked”
  • I truly feel like people won’t know that I am teaching classes.  Even though I have taught for six years at the SAME GYM and 90% of my participants text me to let me know if they are or aren’t coming, etc.  And lo-and-behold I’ve taught 6 classes this week and had people at EVERY SINGLE ONE.

SO what is this chick doing with her spare time you ask?

  • Spending time in the Word – THE BOOK
  • Praying
  • Texting ALL of her friends (ok, so maybe that hasn’t changes)
  • Trying to get a better life plan together.  I am DYING to go to Nursing School.  Could you PU-LEASE buy my house so that I can make this happen?  K Thanks.
  • Cooked More
  • Trying to shake off the emotional habit of CARING about what everyone is doing at every single time.
  • Eating EXTRODINARY AMOUNTS OF WATERMELON.  Which probably has nothing to do with being off of Facebook, but it would REALLY help me if I could figure out a reason WHY I am eating so much of it.  Its.  Amazing.