its MONDAY YALL

Praise the baby Jesus.

Thank the good Lord.

And all that.  I made it through another full week to MONDAY.

To be honest, these last 6 weeks have solidly kicked my ass.  Physically, mentally, emotionally, and for sure spiritually!  So to recap, I am in school full time (Macroeconomics, Business Communications, and Chemistry/Chemistry lab).  I work full time, teach 6-8 classes a week at Gold’s Gym and find time to kill it at Iron Tribe Fitness.  So.  There is a lot on my plate and I for sure have to practice to keep everything in perfect balance.  And it really is, as long as I stick to “the schedule” .  But the thing is.  I don’t like that.  I truly love being foot-loose and fancy free.  My old boss didn’t care if I took 2 hour lunches on Fridays, and I always appreciated that!  But now, I don’t get that luxury because Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have class on my lunch hour.  And Thursdays  I teach three fitness classes because that is what I want to do.

But readers, I really want you to know.  This is not a complaint.  I love my life.  I am doing EXACTLY what I want to do truly!  I want to be in school.  I want to teach fitness, and I want to have time to myself to workout on my own.  There are people who DON’T think I can do it all.  I have had a couple of people in the last week tell me that I am doing too much.  That I can’t possible be happy being this busy and something has to give.  And to those people, I say – Look.  I am doing what I want to. And when I am tired, I need you to say, you CAN do this instead of encouraging me to stop.  I feel that this year is going to be very rewarding because I AM putting in my time.  Being single allows me so much more to take advantage of without having to check in with anyone or schedule around two people.  Don’t get me wrong – I get lonely LOTS not having a partner in crime and most times at night for the 5 seconds before I fall asleep, but I have these really fabulous friends who share everything with me so those times of being lonely and left out are few and far between.

SO to update what has happened in the past month!

1) Sold my car (the excellent Volvo) and in the asking price, actually traded out for another car.  So.  I netted a few dollars, got out of a car payment AND got a cute car!  When I had originally tried to sell my car, I was sharing with someone that I wanted this EXACT transaction to happen.  Of course I was laughed at (its normal! People forget how determined I am) and it took about 6 months but I now own a Infiniti QX4 with 155,000 miles on it, one owner (who happened to be an attorney-father of someone I went to high school with). And – freed up some income.  Damn those car payments.  I am not sure that I will have one again!

2) I am moving (on Friday!).  Again.  Back to my side of town 😉  Its actually about 2 miles from where I own a house.  But I am not responsible for land-lording stuff/house ownership stuff which frees me up to maximize my time for other things.  Plus my new roomies are REALLY cute – my age, one has a fashion degree, the other a marketing degree (so our brains work!).  One does CrossFit and understands that side, the other is in Marketing so I feel connected that way!  Plus, I just had a great feeling about the two.  And I have a front porch!

3)  I have had three tests in three different classes.  It’s a good benchmark for me.  I am not sure I am going to get the 4.0 I was thinking of – instead my goal is becoming more about the actual degree and graduating.  Like just physically graduating.  This will for sure be a year of learning!

4) I am finding myself more beautiful.  I know that sounds SO conceited   I get it.  But I am actively trying to be more positive about myself.

5)  I have been eating Paleo for over a year now.  Best.  Change. Ever.  But I must tell you.  This is not a damn diet.  I’m not cutting calories, I am certainly NOT counting calories, I don’t write down what I eat and I don’t eat all day long.  I have a longer post coming up soon about this.  But I don’t think you can call something a “diet” if its just a way of eating.  I don’t eat dairy unless I am at a restaurant and feel like ordering it.  I don’t eat grains, legumes and stay far away from the sugar demon.  And it has taken a FULL YEAR but I don’t crave sugar like I used to.  For instance, yesterday I had a piece of cake – it was from Gia’s and had some buttercreme- caramel icing on it.  Small sliver, ate some of the cake and most of the icing and then that was enough.  I swear that my body is running so well right now that I can hear when it is full and has had enough SO clearly.

 

So.  that is it.  That is what is going ON right now!  tumblr_mia5rots4B1r8fmpxo1_500 2013-01-22 11.30.28 2013-02-09 21.00.45 2013-02-12 09.20.41 2013-02-13 21.32.10 2013-02-13 22.34.44 2013-02-15 22.18.12 2013-02-17 07.07.16 2013-02-17 08.04.06

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mr right now

So receiving this email TOTALLY cracked me up.  I swear, this is a dating site but I swear everyone is on here for the sex of it!

 

FIRST – Let me show you my profile….Because then these become SO much funnier to me.  I always go back and check to see if I wrote anything that would illicit these responses?  And really if you think so, SHARE!  I am in to that 😉  (PS I cannot believe I am going to share this.  PPS – you still love me right?!)

*Disclaimer. I think that if you are interested then you should have something intelligent to say, and NOT just a wink. That makes no sense. If you want to talk to a woman out and about, does winking every accomplish anything?
**Disclaimer #2 – If your profile says something about loving to go out all the time or says you like to cuddle, or you are just overall cray cray, and have 1) shirtless pictures or 2) all your pictures are you in sunglasses/hat/looking down PLEASE move on. I have no need to “settle” for less than the best. It just doesn’t make sense.

Moving on.

I LOVE my fitness life (teaching 8-10 classes a week), but im not obsessed with the gym. Its the people that I need to meet! I invest a LOT of time into people’s lives because in the end that is whats going to matter. Life is meant to be lived big time, and its important that you don’t just complain about where you are right now and never attempt to change. We get one chance to live our life to the best of our ability. If I get to choose my workouts, you will find me outside, on the kickball field, hiking, backpacking – at the lake skiing, you NAME it as long as there is wide open sky around.  Since recovering from an injury, these are less frequent than I would like.

God is first in my life- I have seen my life without that priority and not only am I miserable, I make everyone around me miserable! My life is His to do what he has planned. Following second is my Family and Friends – I have two sisters and I would do anything for them! Plus they make me laugh incessantly.

Laughter is a HUGE part of my daily living! That and hugs. I always make it a point to hug one person a day (thats easy for me!) because you never know what kind of day they are having! And let’s be honest, normally I am just laughing at myself!

I’m grateful for second, third, and infinite chances from God.  Romans 6:14 says that we don’t live in the law, but we live by grace.  And while that is a HUGE parahrase, I get what it means and I would be GLAD to share with you! Its hard to live your life thinking that someone is going to judge or dislike you.

I need someone who challenges me mentally and emotionally. Let’s face it – men and women are difficult , and so are relationships. I’m not looking for the false pretense that we are all perfect and relationships are easy. I need someone that can deal with real life problems WITH me. And is strong enough as a man to be ok if we disagree on issues and opinions. Because lets face it – we aren’t always going to agree! My man will be taking care of himself – mentally, athletically (just means being active) and nutritionally – you ARE what you eat, and I am just not into fast food or junk food. I want to be better at 50 than I am at 30!

And on to the email that I recieved today…

Hey I’m JohnDoe2.   You sound fun and pretty much had me in the white jeans pic (it’s my kryptonite). Do you ever have down time??? Haha. Well you’re getting my first email on this thing…so write back if you’re up for a late night hook up tonight….

Anyways, you’re cute and sound fun so write back if you’re interested.

JoeDoe2

Umm JD2?  I’m pretty sure that a) it is NOT the first email you have sent since you have been on this site.  and b) I am pretty sure that I am not the skanked-up hoochie momma this would work on.  But HEY!  Everything is worth a shot, right?  You never know if you never ask.

{re-posting} how I feel…

**First posted in August of last year.  Praise GOD from whom all blessings flow!  I swear I keep trying to write a post about my horrific accident and what can change in a year, but I’m just not there year.  365 days since my life drastically physically changed and I STILL cannot find the words, the emotions, the raw feeling of what it means to me.  BUT PRAISE GOD from whom all blessings flow.

“This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won’t feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can’t feel real joy unless you know what it means to fail. You can’t know what it’s like to feel holy until you know what it’s like to feel really effing evil. And you can’t be birthed again until you’ve died.”
Kelly Cutron

Kinda what Ezekiel, Job, Habakkuk say. But in words that make sense to me.

I keep hearing that its going to be better. But today. Last week. The week before, I don’t FEEL like that. There is not enough time in the day for me to breath, let alone move forward. Someone VERY close to me today told me that I looked hopeless for the first time that he’s even known me. And he is RIGHT. I cannot see the light, because the people that I have always depended on seem to continue to slip away. I’m so not feeling life today. Its not even that i want to run away. Its that I don’t care enough to run away.

I really just wish the wave of sorrow, self-pity, and loneliness would move away. Or at least stay at the SAME level so that I can move forward. I cannot even see that tomorrow is going to be better. That’s a SHITTY TERRIBLE statement, because I have said that for 4 years. And it hasn’t. Not ONE DAY has gotten better. I don’t see change. I don’t see light at the end of the tunnel. All I see is grotesque pain and people who just don’t CARE.

SO the advice i was given today:

  1. Wrestle with God and tell him how PISSED I am at my own situation
  2. Don’t try to escape the self-pity – its OK for the moment
  3. Read Habakkuk, Ezekiel, and remember that its not the PATIENCE of Job, but that he was SERIOUSLY pissed at God.
  4. Reconcile with yourself

So. for today. that is what I will do.

company

Again I am alone in my house.  First there were sisters, then roommates in college, sisters again, a husband, then there was one sister, then there was the other sister, and now there are none…

Behold, I am doing a new thing;  now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness  and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 49:19

Overwhelmed at the thought of getting a new roommate.  Hating living by myself.  Not loving the option of selling my house in the economy (since we bought it about 6 months before the bottom dropped out of the economy.  Like, literally.) But there aren’t that many TRULY GOOD memories in that house.  Packing sounds so TERRIBLE to me, and I would end up throwing almost everything AWAY.

Now, dear friends, I have been praying for guidance on this house for about 14 months.  What is strange is that I keep WAVERING on what to do, and waiting on a clear sign.  But maybe its NOT a clear sign.

Maybe its a just a jump that getting out of a house that you used to be married, and then you weren’t –

the house that has half-done projects because someone started them, and then moved away –

the house that held tears and a failed marriage –

MAYBE its a jump because I am supposed to just TRUST.

Revelations 21:4  “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

So MAYBE I start packing up little by little, and not just NOT. Maybe I just lose the ties that hold me to Birmingham – the ties that haunt of dead dogs and deader life.  Maybe somethings are just MEANT to be left behind.

Deut 28:1-6 “And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field. Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.”

check check, 1-2-3

Easy as PIE right??  Making a life style change, I mean!  Trying to change my WHOLE outlook on how I view food.  What it does to my body.  How I work with one group of food versus the OTHER group of foods.

Just kidding.

NOT EASY.  I mean, like SO not easy.

So I turned 30 this past weekend (let’s give it UP for 30, yall!!!) I swear its going to be the best years of my LIFE.  I already like being 30, even though I still got carded at Publix and every single Mexican establishment I’ve ever been to.  Not so sure about bars any more since I’ve not stepped foot in one in YEARS.  Oh!  I didn’t get carded at Avondale Brewery this past weekend!  But that might have had to do with the fact I was wearing a tiara that said “Happy 30th” on it.  Nevermind….

Avondale Brewery

Side note before I get to the point.  ABC is flipping AWESOME.  Neat building, love what the Avondale Community is doing to drive traffic to that area, and just LOVE this side of town anyways.  I had a little bit of all the beers, but I happen to like the Saison, which is a Belgiun pale ale.  Mostly because it reminds me of summer.  Oh!  And I think that elephant is adorable.  Small fact I learned from my friend Danny this weekend – that is a Hops Flower underneath his foot (between the A and B).  I KNOW right??  You are learning SO much from my posting today.

SO back to the point.

Which was making a life change, by choice.  As we know (and NO need to revisit) there were several life changes that happened over the past year that I had NO control over, so I decided to be proactive and find out what this “Paleo” lifestyle is about.

In January, I did the 30 day challenge (WHICH, BTW took me almost 50 days.  Go figure.  And counting IS my forte!) and at the end of my time, just kinda STAYED “pure” in my eating because I was terrified in “going off program” (yes, that is a WW term).  But let’s be honest!  Eating 110% perfect EVERY SINGLE DAY is not realistic.  And it most certainly does not fit anyone’s lifestyle, unless you never leave your house again.  So I started adding some things back in….Cheese for example.  Then I made some Red Velvet and Brownie cupcakes for my birthday.  Then I went to (well….I’m not going to tell you ALL the places that I went! – BUT they were good!) SEVERAL places for my birthday, ending with Ollie Irene (GO if you haven’t tried it!!  GO THIS WEEKEND!) and waking up this morning feeling sluggish, bloated and yuck.

SO Notes about Ruth:

1) Cheese makes your GI go wacko.  I never understood when people said dairy didn’t agree with them.  But I think I was too far into my obsession to realize how my body reacted!  And since that was the first thing I added back in, it had a definite reaction on my body!

2) Beer (hops, grains, whatever!) makes me super hungsies.  Like, WOW. But Wine?  Not so much.  Don’t get me wrong, I won’t be giving up beer.  Not after I have encouraged you to test out the local brewery!  But I won’t be indulging quite as deep as I have in the past.  NOT A BAD THING, folks!

3) VEGGIES AND FRUIT are important!  And with birthday celebrations, I have had less time to plan meals.  SO IMPORTANT, or I just don’t eat right.  It’s like brushing my teeth.  I HATE doing it.  But I can’t just skip it!

4) I sleep better, workout better, feel better, have a BETTER attitude, clearer skin, and pants that fit (what?) BETTER.  All from planning what I eat!  Making sure that have the tools at my fingertips to make me successful.  Plus I lost 12 lbs.  By eating more mayonnaise, nuts, avocados and coconut milk than I ever have in my life.

SO now that you know all of these things that don’t really mean MUCH to you, but they make my life better by knowing them – here is my plan!  Going to go another 30 days since the last 10 have been, well, less than steller.  BUT ONLY 30.  Because I’ve got to take baby steps in how to make this successful and managable for life.

From Dallas and Melissa’s page:

The Whole30 is not a diet, a short-term fix or a temporary solution. It’s also not the Whole365.

We want you to use the Whole30 as a learning tool to gain awarenessof how the foods you used to eat were actually affecting how you look, feel, live and perform.

And then we want you to carry that awareness forward, and use your experience to change the way you eat for the rest of your life.

We encourage you to make educated, deliberate decisions about when, how often and in what quantities you include less healthy foods in your diet. We’ve written a collection of articles about how to accomplish this in a way that is sane, sustainable and healthy.

And JUST TO BE CLEAR – I am just unplugging and plugging it back in.  I don’t think I reaped the WHOLE benefits of the Whole30.  And I KNOW this can be a way of life.  But like everything else in my life, it takes a few times to STICK.

WOOP WOOP.  Here’s to life changes!

Timeless

I love this woman.  She just WORKS!  Cheek bones, nails, not to mention I am kind of obsessed with these creepy GIFs!  I also think there is a woman who has no problems, doesn’t have to keep her house clean, or contemplate selling her car so she afford not to have a roommate.  Here is a woman who just looks “perfect” and people bring her Perrier with fresh lemon slices and she shows up in the kitchen and her caught-that-morning tuna is resting on a perfect bed of lettuce that her personal chef has given her.  That someone picks out her outfit and asks here what she WANTS to do that day instead of what she has to do.

But.

Then.

I think she couldn’t POSSIBLY laugh as much as I do.

Or smile.

Or learn about how to live without EVERYTHING that I want.

Or how cleaning my house makes me appreciate every corner that I earn myself to stay here.

And that there is a “perfect” plan for me – But God’s writing it, and it does not have me sitting around being waited on.  But it does have me getting dirty, and working hard, and standing up for something that I believe in.  And that my friends seems better than being a model in a creepy GIF.

Romans 8:28   And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

quick and unmonumental…

Week in quick review 🙂

      ….I cooked. A LOT.

 

      I CLEANED

 

      I read a verse a day. Wednesday verse was awesome, but I of couse, I can’t remember it. And don’t say I should bc I know lyrics. Because I DON’T know lyrics. Ever.

 

      I caved on the sugar – had two mini reeses cups yesterday. They were needed and I suppose the diet Just 8 calorie ice cream TECHNICALLY counts. But. Its fake sugar, right?

 

      I haven’t had a SIP of alcohol. Don’t miss it.

 

      I decided not to wear jeans. Because they make me feel bad about myself (Thanks to @stacyladden!)

 

      I went to bed early everynight but last night

 

      I turned into Elvira…and love it.  Black Hair is back!

 

    I made it to the gym 5 times since Monday. Ill take it

Seriously though, I am kinda proud of the weeks progress! Not here to toot my horn, but I have recieced so MANY positive texts/G-chats/hugs/love that I just want you to know its working 🙂