make it yours.

Over the next couple of weeks, I will be sharing goals with you and will WELCOME comments and encouragement!  I am attending a Goal Workshop tomorrow night, and I hope that it will spur me on to really thinking about what I fully want.  Not what my parents think I should have, not what my friends are doing, not what my peers judge me into doing.  What Ruth Wants To Do.

Over the last few months, I really have been rolling that around in my head – what is it that I really want to DO with my life.  In my early 20’s, it was to get married and show people that I didn’t have to have a degree to get anywhere.  I was SO adamant about that point.  SO!  And I still think it is crazy for something jobs to discount experience for time spent in college.  After all, I technically spent 4 years and PLENTY of credit hours.  But in this world, I can’t force people to think the way I do.  So, I am caving and getting a degree….10 years after the first time I started.  10.  Full.  Years.

GOAL 1 in 2013 (to be completed by December, 2013)

Graduate college at UAB with a Marketing Degree.

That means I have to take eight classes in 2013.

That means this spring, I am taking three classes.

That means this summer, I need to take two or three classes (depending on what is available)

And that means hopefully just two in the Fall of 2013.

And while that sounds like a lot to most people, to me, I just have to stay focused.  I’m Broke As A Joke, so travelling doesn’t hasn’t been an option.  And I have spent the last 10 years being (relatively) footloose and fancy-free.  I’ve had worse.  So what is one really tough, busy, mentally hard year.  I will tell you what – it seems like NOTHING compared to the emotionally hard years of 2008-2010.  Mental strength, I can find.

 

This goal is a perfect example of falling down 7 times.  I really haven’t EVER been public about this – if you point-blank ask me, I would tell you.  But I certainly don’t even like to tell people this piece of information.  It automatically prompts two responses: I thought you had one or Why didn’t  you finish?  The first statement making me feel inadequate about lack of education albeit PLENTY of hardcore experience.  The second question is just never fun to answer…but it usually goes like this:  I was supposed to graduate a semester early as I came into college with 14 credit hours (a full semester) based on my High School education.  I wanted to take off a semester and work or do SOMETHING other than school because I was freaking out about being 21 and having to get a full time job.  At the time, I was fully advised (told straight-up) just to finish school and get it over with.  And in one of my better bits of rebellion, just decided to fail school instead.  Go ahead.  Just read that again.  To be honest, I don’t really know if it was a conscious decision or one I just let happen, but  I received a 68 in a class that I had to have a 70 to graduate.  The best part?  If I had just attended class, if I had JUST SHOWED UP to class, I would have graduated.  My sorry a$$ decided that I didn’t want to.  So I tried talking to three teachers and no one would help me (I don’t know that I would have either).  It is one of a HANDFUL of regrets that I have.  Not one that I focus and morn every day, but one single event that if I could go back and change I would.  But let’s be honest….would I go back to being 21?  Uhhh, NO.  I can’t think of a worser time to go back to!  I happen to like 30, and graduating college NOW is going to mean something that graduating then NEVER would have.

So.  Here on my 8th time getting up, let’s graduate college, shall we?

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falling down seven times…

get up eight.

That is how I feel about last year…and the year before.  I feel CERTAIN that this year will be one of staying upright and steady.

I have LOTS of posts mulling around in my head.  Thank you for all you patient people who have stood by me this year and STILL continued to read this place of sparse posts!

I have goals.  Just not sure if I am certain about them.

I have resolutions, but they started before 1/1/2013.

I have things happening that will be life changing…for me.  But they are in the planning phases.  And that is just where I will be hanging out for a while.  Sewing pieces of my life and waiting for a harvest that I am CONFIDENT that will be coming.

Ecclesiastes 3  A Time for Everything

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:  a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace.
2012-10-31 18.28.56 2012-11-09 06.34.05 2012-11-09 07.02.52 2012-11-23 20.58.33 2012-11-23 21.59.10 2012-12-08 22.30.43 2012-12-14 16.22.48 2012-12-16 11.53.27 2012-12-22 19.06.48 2012-12-23 20.03.21 2012-12-25 16.33.06 2012-12-25 18.06.55 2012-12-26 14.25.16 2012-12-31 18.29.54 2012-12-31 19.25.58 2013-01-01 00.55.56 2013-01-01 02.08.32 2013-01-01 03.21.05 2013-01-01 04.34.30

reading

sometimes i read.  Like. Ah-Lot.  And then there are other times when I read nothing at all and the thought of a word coming across my eyes is tiresome.  Like all things for Ruth, its all or nothing (is there a pill for that?!)

What I am reading NOW:

Why Be Useful?  Athleticism & Sex Appeal  – Best line? ” I’d venture to guess that most women could care less about how much you bench or squat. They’re not interested in your ego-repleting power lifts.  However, a display of athleticism like walking around on your hands or a back-flip really seems to get the hormones flowing.  Or so I’ve been told.  Just food for thought for those looking to impress the fairer sex.” –  True Alex.  So dang TRUE.

The Oil Cleansing Method – I started last week with Caster Oil and Grapeseed oil (purchased off of Amazon, of COURSE).  And so far, I LOVE it.  It gets all my mascara off and I swear I am prettier already!

No ‘Poo! – yeah, Yall know I hardly like to shower or wash my hair.  And now I am contemplating moving to baking soda.  I care DEEPLY about what I eat….and your skin covers your ENTIRE BODY!  Why shouldn’t I care what goes on it!  I haven’t made the jump yet.  Trying to keep it to ONE major change a month.  (right?!)

5 “FUN” things that are NOT that fun – I really DON’T mind going someplace where I don’t know people, but the other four – Spot. On.

Hater’s guide to William Sonoma – Notes from Drew: Where else am I supposed to put my dirty cheese?

and on the other end of the spectrum…

At Last – get out a tissue, please.

The difference between asking how I can pray for you and praying for you – Funny thing is I ran across this article on Monday – no more than 30 minutes after I had texted my roommate how I could pray for her this week.  This kinda has been sitting on my heart all week.  Much like the SAME roommate who asked me about my {bad} attitude this week, and could it possibly be related to time spent in the Word. (I did tell her to ignore my snide and off-handed response.  She said it didn’t bother her.)

The Christmas Party that Almost Wasn’t – and then best words, “Let’s make ourselves available and then watch how this whole wonderful thing unfolds, OK?”  Ok.

 

Just thoughts from an extremely all OVER the place chick.

the good ole’ tunes

Songs I can’t stop listening to….

(umm.  yes that is Matthew.  And who didn’t LOVE him in Dazed and Confused)

 

My girl P!ink has always got it going ON.  I. Can’t.  Stop.

 

“So this is what you meant, when you were spent.  And now it’s time to build from the bottom of the pit…to the top…I don’t ever want to let you down!”

 

“I can feel the love, can you feel it too?”

perhaps

Wordle: Untitled

in·tense

1.  existing or occurring in a high or extreme degree: intense heat.
2.  acute, strong, or vehement, as sensations, feelings, or emotions: intense anger.
3.  of an extreme kind; very great, as in strength, keenness,severity, or the like: an intense gale.
4.  having a characteristic quality in a high degree: The intense sunlight was blinding.
5.  strenuous or earnest, as activity, exertion, diligence, or thought: an intense life.

ag·gres·sive

1.  characterized by or tending toward unprovoked offensives,attacks, invasions, or the like; militantly forward or menacing: aggressive acts against a neighboring country.
2.  making an all-out effort to win or succeed; competitive: an aggressive basketball player.
3.  vigorously energetic, especially in the use of initiative and forcefulness: an aggressive salesperson.
4.  boldly assertive and forward; pushy: an aggressive driver.
5.  emphasizing maximum growth and capital gains over quality,security, and income: an aggressive mutual fund.

So you see all those words up there.  Right?  And you ABSOLUTELY see the negative connotation in those words.  RIGHT?

Over the last couple of months, these are the words that have been used to describe me.

“Ruthie, you are seriously intense.  Like scary intense.”

“Well you are the most aggressive instructor we have in the mornings.”

All statements by men in my life – not men who I just met but people who know me for the most part.  It’s like when people say things like, “I cant believe you are still skinny!” or “When you gain all that weight back…”  Ummmm, thanks?!

I swear, at first I did NOT know if I should be offended?  Angry? Hurt?  Pissed off and starting a fight?  But then.  *LIGHTBULB*  These are things that make up ME.  And hot DAMN. I am awesome. (yeah, it only took me 30 years to get to that point)

I am SO scary intense most of the times.  I get obsessive over a piece of clothing, a drink, a shampoo.  But do you understand that to me is passion.  Passion over things that are important to me.  My family, my friends, my coworkers – All I EVER want for you is to be healthier, better, live longer (than me.  Please let me go first!), and have the HAPPIEST life ever.  I am extremely passionate over fitness and health. A love affair that started 15 years ago and started to streamline into something REALLY awesome 7 years ago.  I am passionate about people being HEALTHY.  I have never cared what you put in YOUR mouth as long as you are self-aware.  I feel like people should be educated about artificial sweeteners and carbonated drinks and the fact that if you can’t pronounce something on a label, your body probably doesn’t really want it anyways.  I want you to walk and run and be outside and to NOT have allergies or knee pain or stomach issues or headaches.  I want you to be happy being YOU – the VERY best version of you.  And so I really DO suppose that makes me agreesive.  And intense.  But it also makes me passionate, and loving, and YOUR BEST cheerleader.  The VERY best cheerleader you can have.

I guess in the South that makes me a very strong, Yankee personality – a TOTALLY unfavorable nickname given to me by my ex (always said fairly snarky and usually when we disagreed about something).  In my years of aging, I have mellowed CONSIDERATELY.  I don’t think you are out to get me, or that if we disagree on issues that we can’t hangout.  But I also am NOT afraid of rolling my eyes at you, and telling you that an idea is stupid.  Like going to BodyPump 6 days a week, or running 20 miles without having trained a minute for it, or even that you CAN’T reduce the fat in one specific area – I don’t care HOW many situps you do.  All you are going to do is build muscle UNDER your fat.  So why don’t you think about changing your diet.  Why don’t you think about getting some additional sleep.  Why DON’T you think saying no to the 5th dinner out this week with friends you haven’t seen!

So I guess all this is to say, I love you.  I really do.  I’m may be TOTALLY wonky.  But you, blog-reader.  YOU!  I love.  And it’s how I get through the day.

fashionista

Not really – But I do see people in workout clothes ALL day long, so it’s always nice when I get to wear actually CLOTHES!

Shirt:  Yellow Open Back shirt from Shoe Fly

Jeans:  Jessica Simpson Jeggings for $41 (at Belk)

Shoes: Jessica Simpson Josephine

Scarf: Urban Outfitters Staring at Stars Cocoon Eternity Scarf

Necklace: Stella and Dot Bahari Necklace

Makeup: Bobbi Brown Long Wear Cream Shaddow in Sandy Gold and Velvet Plum, Bobbi Brown Long Wear Gel Eyeliner in Black Ink, Benefit’s They’re Real! Mascara, Urban Decay Naked Skin Weightless Ultra Definition Liquid Makeup , Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick in Nectar, Covergirl Lip Perfection in Spellbound

Scent: As always, Philosophy Body Firming Emulsion in Amazing Grace, and Chanel Chance

 

food from the past

I kept meaning to blog about my eating last week, but I didn’t get a chance.  Once a quarter, Gold’s Gym and Les Mills has new quarterly “releases” which basically means to the lay person, I spend extra time in the gym and you as the member gets new music, moves, and maybe just MAYBE a few more aches and pains.  BUT knowing how mentally challenging it is for me once a quarter, I knew I needed to 110% make sure I had the best food possible to eat!  SO here is what I cooked up last week

Spinach, Sausage, Mushroom and Egg Casserole.  It’s basically Melissa’s Meat Muffin recipe but I tweak and tweak to the point of just whatever is in my frig this week 😉

8 Sweet Potatoes (cubes, tossed in coconut oil, cumin and salt/pepper)

Zuchini Pesto Noodles – Noodle recipe here, Pesto is (loosely) based on Juli’s recipe here.  I didn’t have Sun Dried tomatoes, and subbed in Spinach for Basil (because that is what I had and I was NOT going back out to the grocery).  Take my advice – make it how she says, because its freaking AWESOME.  About the noodles – after making sure that the moisture had been removed, I threw in a pan with about 1/4 of beef broth, and let them cook, like noodles.

Pork Shoulder – Used this recipe, cooked in my awesome Lodge Cast Iron Dutch oven (in which I cook EVERYTHING).  I left out the brown sugar and subbed in apple cider vinegar (because, AHEM, it was what was in the cabinet).    The sugar does add a LITTLE bit of depth to the meat, but I think its just as delicious without!

But really, I just wanted you to know how I cook.  I search blogs all the time – its basically what makes up my Google Reader Feed.  They are not all “Paleo” some are grain-free, some are like full-on pasta, cupcakes and sugar.  But from other people’s inspiration I start to think of what I want.  I keep my kitchen pretty fresh in the sense I try to use ALL my ingredient in the frig up during the week.  Some times it works, some times I am a HUGE failure and waste money and food.  BUT I will tell you if you can open a can of tomatoes, you CAN cook.  This is not something hard.  Usually I cook Sunday afternoons, but last night I didn’t start until 5p, ran out to eat dinner with friends, and came back to pack up all my food.  And I try not to give up anything to cook – as in I went to church, hung out with my sister, took a nap, saw some friends at Avondale, and had dinner.  All on Sunday.  So it really can be done!  It’s more of a matter of priorities than how hard it is.

SO.  Tell me what you ate last week!