perhaps

in·tense

1. existing or occurring in a high or extreme degree: intense heat.
2. acute, strong, or vehement, as sensations, feelings, or emotions: intense anger.
3. of an extreme kind; very great, as in strength, keenness,severity, or the like: an intense gale.
4. having a characteristic quality in a high degree: The intense sunlight was blinding.
5. strenuous or earnest, as activity, exertion, diligence, or thought: an intense life.

ag·gres·sive

1. characterized by or tending toward unprovoked offensives,attacks, invasions, or the like; militantly forward or menacing: aggressive acts against a neighboring country.
2. making an all-out effort to win or succeed; competitive: an aggressive basketball player.
3. vigorously energetic, especially in the use of initiative and forcefulness: an aggressive salesperson.
4. boldly assertive and forward; pushy: an aggressive driver.
5. emphasizing maximum growth and capital gains over quality,security, and income: an aggressive mutual fund.

So you see all those words up there. Right? And you ABSOLUTELY see the negative connotation in those words. RIGHT?

Over the last couple of months, these are the words that have been used to describe me.

“Ruthie, you are seriously intense. Like scary intense.”

“Well you are the most aggressive instructor we have in the mornings.”

All statements by men in my life – not men who I just met but people who know me for the most part. It’s like when people say things like, “I cant believe you are still skinny!” or “When you gain all that weight back…” Ummmm, thanks?!

I swear, at first I did NOT know if I should be offended? Angry? Hurt? Pissed off and starting a fight? But then. *LIGHTBULB* These are things that make up ME. And hot DAMN. I am awesome. (yeah, it only took me 30 years to get to that point)

I am SO scary intense most of the times. I get obsessive over a piece of clothing, a drink, a shampoo. But do you understand that to me is passion. Passion over things that are important to me. My family, my friends, my coworkers – All I EVER want for you is to be healthier, better, live longer (than me. Please let me go first!), and have the HAPPIEST life ever. I am extremely passionate over fitness and health. A love affair that started 15 years ago and started to streamline into something REALLY awesome 7 years ago. I am passionate about people being HEALTHY. I have never cared what you put in YOUR mouth as long as you are self-aware. I feel like people should be educated about artificial sweeteners and carbonated drinks and the fact that if you can’t pronounce something on a label, your body probably doesn’t really want it anyways. I want you to walk and run and be outside and to NOT have allergies or knee pain or stomach issues or headaches. I want you to be happy being YOU – the VERY best version of you. And so I really DO suppose that makes me agreesive. And intense. But it also makes me passionate, and loving, and YOUR BEST cheerleader. The VERY best cheerleader you can have.

I guess in the South that makes me a very strong, Yankee personality – a TOTALLY unfavorable nickname given to me by my ex (always said fairly snarky and usually when we disagreed about something). In my years of aging, I have mellowed CONSIDERATELY. I don’t think you are out to get me, or that if we disagree on issues that we can’t hangout. But I also am NOT afraid of rolling my eyes at you, and telling you that an idea is stupid. Like going to BodyPump 6 days a week, or running 20 miles without having trained a minute for it, or even that you CAN’T reduce the fat in one specific area – I don’t care HOW many situps you do. All you are going to do is build muscle UNDER your fat. So why don’t you think about changing your diet. Why don’t you think about getting some additional sleep. Why DON’T you think saying no to the 5th dinner out this week with friends you haven’t seen!

So I guess all this is to say, I love you. I really do. I’m may be TOTALLY wonky. But you, blog-reader. YOU! I love. And it’s how I get through the day.