Normally I don’t post twice in one day, but I woke up this morning with so MUCH on my heart.
SHORT background on me is that I grew up in a church-going household with rigid rules and parents that did their very best to make sure we grew up in the word of the Lord. Fast forward to me graduation High School and leaving for Auburn and not having to go to church. That was kind of a freeing feeling for me. So I spent 4 years NOT pursuing God. (and yes, this is SO abbreviated!) Fast-forward 4 years to to my parents showing up at my apartment door to move out of Auburn because I was a trainwreck. Got home, and it took about a year, but I began to go to church again, and got involved with a small group (Tri Gams for LIFE.) So from 23-25, I was able to have some semblance of God present.
In 2007, I got married to a man with the same church background as me, and thought we would grow together in God. (and THAT is a totally different story for another time). About half way through our marriage, we hit a rough patch, and God really called me to his side, helped me understand Grace (which I had no comprehension of before) and it seemed like I was on a good path in life and in my marriage. It wasnt’. And instead of running after God, I got all mixed up in self-pity, frustration, and a little bit of dispair. We got divorced this year in March and it just seems like for the last 12 months, I have been not only wandering but DEAD-SET on destroying myself. I would never in a million years have said that on Oct 3, 2011 I would be divorced, child-less, church-less, and surving a wicked accident which has left me at 80% capacity physically and 125% capacity mentally.
This weekend has made me really want to pull away from the world and figure out how to be the best version of myself, one inspired by Christ, dying a little more each day. So Friday, I deactivated my Facebook account. Saturday I did not return phone calls to a few shady characters that I didn’t need to see. And yesterday, I just laid in bed struggling mentally, physically for things ahead.
So I woke up with an epiphany today.
21 days to break a habit.
30 days to build a new one and
30 MORE days to reinforce. Except for its actually going to take me my lifetime to build those habits!
SO here is my schedule:
1) Read my bible at least once a day. One verse, one chapter, one SOMETHING. This should be a lifetime commitment. I’m going to make it just for the next 21 days to be achievable.
2) Giving up alcohol and refined sugar for the 30 days (cookies, candy, ice cream, sweets). If I can’t get my body in focus, how should I get my mind in focus? Hope to be giving up sugar until Thanksgiving….there have been a LOT of cupcakes hanging around lately!
3) In bed on time, including the weekends. My mind has been so restless lately that sleep is off.
4) Make it to church 2 weeks in a row.
I am desperate to become a better version of myself! And I know that it cannot happen without God, but just as important is support from my friends and family!
Will you commit to support me?